Straight Talk

John McCain doesn't have the Straight Talk Express for nothing. 

"No, I'm calling you a f*cking jerk." - John McCain to fellow GOP Senator Chuck Grassley, when Grassley asked "Are you calling me stupid?", Feb 21, 2000 

What a stand up guy. 

Song of the Week

This week's pick for the Song of the Week is somewhat of an oldie:

Robin Thicke: Stupid Things

5 Reasons I why I love this song:
1) I heart good love songs.
2) Quality R&B. (The piano is hot, the melody is catchy, and he has a soulful voice.)
3) Cuuuuuuute and real lyrics.
4) Robin Thicke is irresistbly...talented.
5) Robin Thicke's singing voice in a word(s): sensual [seduction].

Okay, the fifth point doesn't make sense. Just listen already!

"So, I invite the media to grow a pair. And if you can’t, I will lend you mine."

LMAO. (I almost never use hip blog lingo, but this one sums it up pretty well.)

If you haven't heard of Sarah Palin, then you're either sharing a sleeping bag with Osama bin Laden in a dingy cave in the middle of nowhere (literally--because not even the the country that can spy on all of its citizens unbeknownst to them, still can't find him) or you're saving dolphins. 

Sarah Palin is all the rage right now. And when you reach a certain level of celebrity, you get mocked on SNL.

I'm having a hard time embedding the video right now.

You can still see it here.

Obama's moolah

One of the bastions of the Liberal Media Elite (TM)--the New York Times--is reporting that the Obama camp raised $66 million dollars in the month of August: 

But almost more important than Mr. Obama’s August total may be the fact that it came partly from a half-million first-time donors, most of them far from having contributed the full $2,300 per person allowed in any general election. 

I think there are two reasons this happened. 

1) Obama gave a hell of a speech at the Democratic National Convention. (And points to Sasha and Malia just for being cute after Michelle Obama's speech--yeah, you know that part won you over too.) 

2) John McCain, Sarah Palin, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, Joe Lieberman, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, and the rest of the 'Country First' brigade pissed off hella people.  

Okay, they're my reasons. 

Yeah, I'm still on a college budget. 

Let me put this in a way you can understand

Who is the average US voter? 

I tried to do 'The Google' search and the first ten hits were blog sites so I don't have any reliable statistics for you right now. (Sorry, I wanted to give you all Staight Talk (TM) but that would be like quoting Wikipedia for a history paper.)

 

I think the average US voter is the person that gets most of his/her political information from the 10 o'clock news (you know, right after the report the mayor's latest affair with a two-cent-lady-of-the-night and before the one on Brangelina's latest excursion to McDonald's), Good Morning America, Katie Couric and Matt Lauer, Extra, E! News, the Yahoo! front page, Oprah, and of course--the most reputable source--campaign ads.  

But the news--especially local news--totally suck at reporting anything that has to do with elections or presidential campaigns.  They just don't do politics very well.  

And its not their fault! Really, in many ways, its our fault. Or maybe we can blame it on our culture and society. 

The fact is, we're like crackheads when it comes to news, especially political news.  We want instant gratification.  You know, just enough to make you happy and keep ya going.  

News people (i.e. the big guys at Corporate who own like 100 different news subsidiaries and NBC) can't make money if we don't watch the news.  We won't watch the news if they do long, substantive news reports on the political haps. There's a reason no one--not even your Grandparents--watch C-Span.  They have to literally dumb down the news to get people to watch.  Its way more profitable to do reports on Paris Hilton's release from prison than to do extensive reports on McCain's latest rally speech.  

So what we get in the news are 4-5 seconds worth of sound bytes from those speeches and two seconds of video of McCain waving at an audience.  Awesome.  

And we don't complain! We're pretty happy with this system. 

But what ends up happening is people like Sarah Palin can become the next Vice President OR President of a small country known as America. 

So, to all the conservative or Republican-leaning "average" US voters, let me put this in a way you can understand: 

You know, but you can trust John McCain--he does have his own 'Straight Talk Express'--when he says the Republican party IS the party of change: 

No matter who wins this election, the direction of this country is going to change dramatically. But the choice is between the right change and the wrong change, between going forward and going backward.

I guess in McCain's case, Straight Talk stands for in-your-face, cross your fingers-hope to die-stick a thousand needles in your eye, honest to goodness rubbish. 

(Thanks for the comic.) 

Recess

I got enough writing done for today. 

Play time. 

When you feel like a Kawawa Bear--what not to do:

Eat your feelings.

When you're really feeling like a Kawawa Bear--what not to do:

Eat ALL of your feelings. 

Palin: A Real Amerrrri-Can Conservative

Sarah Palin is an interesting sort.  We all know the drill. She's a gun-totin', foxy, hockey mom, PTA mom, mayor, governor, vindictive bitch, pro-life, moose-huntin', caribou-eating parents, and God-fearing milf. 

Part of her appeal is that she represents the image of the American pioneer who can hunt, kill, and cook wild animals (like on Oregon Trail!).  From that image, you can extract all the other familar fluff: small-town values, traditional Amerrri-Can values, and a fierce Trust in God.  And you can keep going from there: "A government that doesn't stand in your way, but by your side.", Pro-Life, creationism, the Second Amendment, etc. 

If this campaign season were a movie, The McCain campaign would hands-down,  be given an Oscar for 'Best Picture.' The casting director picked the perfect person to embody the tenets of modern American conservatism.  And not only did she outshine her co-star, but she also minimized the roles of her castmates and even turned them into sexist, anti-feminist, and arrogant elites with every move they make with respect to her. 

Ultimately, I think she'll be a one-hit wonder. Kind of like Natalie Imbruglia.  She'll barely make the history books. In fact, she'll be a box in a history book--a sidenote about a millisecond of a period of time in America.  She's kind of important--she's the 2nd female Vice Presidential candidate of a major political party.  Second the best, right? (Or is it "Sloppy seconds?") 

With that, I'd like to leave you with a short video from Telegraph TV about what some regular British citizens think about Palin: 

They sound soooo much smarter than the average American person you can stop on the street. 

Guess who's joining the bandwagon?

The world wants an Obama-nation. 

Free Cheeseburgers and Beer!

Do you know if you're registered to vote? 

If not, you can check online via the Obama website. 

While you're there, feel free to drop $5.00.  (Seriously, its like the equivalent of one $5 sub at Subway, or one venti latte at Starbucks, or five things from the dollar menu--but this one actually means something.) 

Tree Huggers, Geologists, and Historians!

The cutting of trees at UC Berkeley commenced last Friday, despite months of protesting and protestors living in those trees. 

The tree cutting is supposed to make room for a new stadium (albeit to bring in more revenue for the school) despite the fact that it will be in close proximity to the Hayward Fault. Even worse, the area is home to a Native American burial ground. 

It is sad that UC Berkeley is determined to build this stadium.  Even the current stadium (that ginormous one where all the football games are played) shows damage from the Hayward Fault.